day six

I am very excited to receive my Hobonichi Techo planner on Wednesday. Not sure how I will use it to reflect on the year of eating and moving to be fitter but I feel strongly that there’s a connection.

I have planned food today. Dinner is pizza, wine, and then kettle corn at the movies. There is a part of me that wonders if this will really happen with that kind of eating…but it sort of has to, if this is going to work for the long haul.

There will be some instances when I cannot plan, and I will just have to work to stay within the calorie budget (or be okay with going outside it for a meal). It hasn’t really happened yet, and realistically, it won’t happen too often. I will go with the strength that I have, which is the ability to plan and anticipate most of the time, and see if the inevitable spontaneity that occurs isn’t too damaging.

I got my period yesterday, 3 weeks after the last one. Apparently this is one of the many aspects of perimenopause. Okay, fine. There’s nothing I can do about it, so, onward.

Update, 4:30 pm. I am wicked hungry. That is all.

day five

Reflections are boring but necessary. I remembered today when talking with Ivy that when I lost weight in 2001 with Weight Watchers, I started my day the night before, so that dinner counted first. I wonder if I can use myfitnesspal that way.

Day four was fine. Dinner is hard. I think I am counting everything but I am not great about taking a plate of food and sticking to just that. Hard not to go back for more. Ways to deal: eat slower. Have something on the table (veg, salad) that I can eat if I do want more and build that in.

The thing to do is to keep doing it. I am going to record everything no matter what and no matter what, the next day is just the next day. Consistency matters.

Today is another snow day and though it’s not actively snowing, there’s a ton of it out there. I am gearing up mentally to go to the gym. I have work through the mid-afternoon. I’d like to do something fun with the guys, play a game or something. I think I will hit the gym at 4 and do a half-hour of elliptical and then, oy, what. I need to start to do more to get stronger. I will do the Aaptive 7 minute Booty Pop (!) workout and then also stretch.

Breakfast – had cereal

Lunch – hummus and pita and broccoli salad

Dinner – braised chicken legs, quinoa pilaf, kale salad

day four

Day three? It happened but I didn’t write. Consistency not perfection will get me there so I am letting it go. Weird day, retreat @ HGSE, not at desk. Today also promises weirdness – bomb cyclone snowstorm, But right now, at 7:18 am, there’s not much snow out there so I’m getting out to walk as soon as this and coffee are done.

Plan for today: cereal for breakfast; hummus, pita, and an orange for lunch; pork chops, potato hash, and broccoli salad for dinner. Am home with everyone so the temptation to eat will be real. Stick to the plan. Drink tea. Need to make veg chili this afternoon to have more around to eat.

I just put this food into myfitnesspal now and wow, it is arrestingly easier to do this with a plan

So far, am at or under 1,500 each day, counting exercise. It’s been good. I have been hungry when it’s time to eat but not all the time. Really hope that this works without having to eat fewer calories. Mathematically that seems unlikely but I’m willing to stick to 1,500 + exercise and see how it works.

I haven’t figure out when or how I am going to step off (or if?). There will be an if. There will be whens. This will happen. A meal out that is awesome? A birthday or other celebration?

day two

It’s hard to figure out when to exercise. I am going to leave work early today and so will go to the gym to do 40 minutes on the elliptical. That ought to be enough to get to 10K steps. I really don’t want to go; there is something about changing into gym clothes midday that I don’t like, but it is better than trying to walk outside for that amount of time. Too cold.

That (gym + other moving around) ought to get me 500 extra calories. Realistically, that seems like a lot. Maybe too much? Right now, I don’t care. All I need to do is stick to 1,500 net.

Today I am at work and that is fine. Well, it’s not fine in that it is 9:40 am now and I already had breakfast and am still hungry. But it is manageable. And tonight, at dinner, which is when I tend to fall apart, the situation will also be fine. I should have more than 1,000 calories to work with, and I’m making tacos with chicken. That can lead to lots of unconscious eating and not stopping, so I am going to try something new: make a plate with what I plan to eat and eat just that. And now I need to stop thinking about food and what I will eat and how this will work and let this run in the background so I can get some work done!

day one

Day one. I am good at consistency so that will be the way through. Through losing 50 pounds, through figuring out how to choose what I eat so I can be healthier, through understanding myself better. Food and its impact on my mind and body have challenged me for most of my life. Now I’m 50, with about half of that life behind me and half in front, and this is the year I take control so I can feel (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) different for the second half of my life.

In 2017, I walked 10,000 or more steps (nearly) every day. I shot a video (one second of my life) nearly every day. In 2015, I ran (nearly) 1,000 miles. There’s more that my ability for consistency makes happen that isn’t as numerically quantifiable but still matters. Keeping food in the house, maintaining routines, pushing forward work projects. No big heroic acts make any of that happen. Every day, I do what needs to be done for that day, and it adds up. I will solve the persistent challenge of losing weight in the same way, and along the way, I want to learn why my desire for food overrides my desire to be healthy.

The plan:

  1. Count calories. 1,500 a day in food. That is net, with exercise calories subtracted. Exercise calories, at least for now, will come from whatever Fitbit counts.
  2. Write every day. EVERY DAY. Even if it’s just a word. If not here, then somewhere. Use writing to reflect and stay aware.

That is is. Simple is better.


Today, I weighed 183.7. I am not going to post scale pictures every day. Too onerous. Maybe when I break through to each lower tens digit.


Now, time to walk the dog, make breakfast, clean up this vacation-addled house, and plan the week We’re off today but tomorrow, there’s work and the day after, the kids have school and the whole circus resumes.